::Warm::Brilliant::Morning::

"P" and I set out to look for a studio for him. I wear a light-green dress and a picture hat :P i love to be between artists!!
I am still ill but light and in love? and half clear minded. We sit in the bus .. he said "I love your insouciance" The atmosphere is suddenly clear up.
there is not more discomfort...
Why cannot be like this with some others?
I ask nothing, he gives me all he can and want to give. I look fearlessly and quietly into his face, and he is glad for the fearlessness and the quietness...

by the way i love the spelling corrector of this web about the grammar still arghh...

His confidence comeback.. He takes my arm. and how we talk. there is to be and artistic fulfillment, we will illustrate his mystical stories.

We dream of that, i am delighted. Art Art Art....

fulfillment!

The day s bright and warm, the bus shakes us. i am depressed still but stone no more. Where is that brooding intensity, the brewing storm that was going to break our relationship? I have dissolve it (ahh this word with 2 SS, i love spanish) It is crystal clearness now. Clearness and lightness ... MAN to MAN almost. and what of my pale-green dress and coral bracelet and his hand on my arm and his green eyes and the sensousness (ahhh i don't know how to write this and i am lazy for a dictionary) of his face and walk? Delight delight and nothing more

His freedom, my freedom.... ( am i still dealing with that hopeless case crush, maybe but i do love to be alone)

There is no doubt who i am from my artist friends, which makes a fine woman out of me, not a stone, not a housekeeper, not a nurse, not an economist, non a nude model, not a lots of things ...
A free, pliable, busy being, who weighs on nobody

CARRYING A WORLD , my own world , not demanding one.

"F" ohh my dear "F" he sees the strength in me, and get my smile. Because nobody saw it the last few days.

::VOLCANIC SESSION::

Volcanic session, more than 5 yes five hours with "F" Talk , interminable, upsetting; confidences literary and personal.
Happened to me before more than 8 hrs, whit "H" but meaningful just for me.
Encouragements: I to him
D, you have not missed anything. you know that you possess as much as do men who have actually tasted everything. You carry richness in yourself, your imagination. And he answers me
Regie, you have not missed anything. You carry creative power within yourself. You will live in that, and by that more profoundly than others my sensitive kid.
But
this artistic experiences, imaginative experience .... this kind of experiences.. are very fine philosophically, but it makes you so helpless before real experience... so awkward!

::Tea:Chocolate cake:Friends::

The house has become a curiosity and a museum.
I used to talk about the mystical meaning of it and how I would judge people by their understanding of it + the understanding of my own drawings.
What does it mean, then, that everybody likes it, that i find myself a popular illustrator. Unexpected and starling.

ohhh penguins ... common mistake.. just in the south pole
there is not penguins in the north pole.

A formal philosopher open my eyes to the weakness of lone studies and the impossibility of understanding Islamic philosophy without initiation.
I listen to her doctoral voice. Although quite peaceful and balanced, she enchants me. She is half dutch half Mex.

So now i have found something to worry about. I can't endure the idea of missing philosophy by my random reading.

I exposed myself too much the last few weeks but good for me i agree pretending to the objective that artist cant often talk.
I learn the fact from cruel personal discoveries.

:: What to do? What to do? ::

::HELP::