:: DO YOU THINK ABOUT HELL? ::

When you give up, you gain. The simpler your life the better...
"communal farm," I suppose. But we've all come to the same conclusion Gita, the Muslim's Koran The Bible ... it's always the simple things that catch your breath – "Love thy neighbor as thyself"
conflicts...
so it's not "spiritualism" or "nationalism" is not against anything but the idea that people can't live together.
for you for me ofr us i am prepared to die.... but there is no cause for wich i am prepared to kill... do i have to get prepared?
Voltaire said one day that he was not in the same position that the speaker that he was listening, he didnt agree with that but he will never no matter that, take from the other the right of the voice.
Lots of things can kill me, brake my bones, torture my body, make mi mind collapsed, find emptiness, feel prisioner, lost hopes... but at the end that things that persons that sittuations can have my dead body my collapsed mind my lost episodes but never going to have my heart. and the rest of the consecuences of not having my utter self.
Sometimes the clever arguments that i have are not producing the ends that i desire,
what on earth i am here for?
Following the law of creation, the violence end with revenge in souls hearts and minds and i am agaings that
god always give us more than we think we can take.
Injustice... fight it or change it? change it with fight? for punishments? for changes.. fight?
a lotus flower grows in the mud
indeed...
first step
second step
third step
fourth step
fifth step
sixth step
seventh step
go
I myself will
die before I betray our belief that love is a stronger weapon than hate.
Love you and you and you and you too.

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:: SOCIAL SIGNIFIERS::

Someone told me ... things are different romantic love is not existing anymore... the things change... next step i think is the acceptance and redirect the steps to personal objectives that still existing.
production and consuption.
Waiting for social signifiers? We consume messages images signs... what comodities signify? The system of good and bad, happy and sad, satisfasctions, disatisfactions, disturbances and progress.
life has everything and dont blame the bad of the unhappiness time, life is obeying its own laws..
Love for some persons is material of consumption, shift from superficial level of concious social dynamics to the underconcious social logic of signs. In other words, the jey to understanding lies at the level of deep structures...
Comunication... has an aseptic form... is no longer achieves through a symbolic medium, it lacks, real symbolic or a process to learn. Modern lovers want to be monks, display a kind of ludic curiosity about things, they play with combinations, what is lost is the passionate play, with passion implying total involvement and intense symbolic value, involves the external manipulation of signs and it lacks, among other things, the symbolic values involved in creations. Sense of time, somethign to be used, even wasted, product of and economy.
the finest object consumer object : the body...
Sex sex sex porn prostitutes sex sex sex
Female body as priviledged vehicle of beauty, sexuality and manages narcissism, reduction of the body to asthetic, erotic exchange value. Woman body.. servitude???
And admirable vicious cicle of managed emancipation wich we also find applied in the case of women: by confusing woman and sexual liberation, each neutralized by the other. consumption is this formal autonomization of groups, clases and castes by through the formal autonomization of system of signs or roles...
What to be now to be consumed by the other??
ahhh what to write...
lets start all over again...
TO BE RESTARTED...

:: THE CREATION OF CONCEPTS ::

The difference and the repettiion:
Bergson anvanced by Pierce...
maybe a concept there can be like the understood reference to their external object
concept for me:
sounds and images, intensities, pulses, the movie of a tought.
Waht happenned during the philosophical process? passed the state of externar reflexion to and active and internal alliance.
Movement:
instant in time
position in space
the start...
qualitative duration
concrete duration
posibility:
two instants + two posittions > together to the infinity.
cutting
space position
movie
reconstruction
copying pasting
sustitution possible?
changing possition in time and space?.. filling succession .. mmm
impossible with unmobile sections.
Real movement = concrete duration , inmovile sections + abstrac time = real movement?
Image + image + image + .... = movement
visible? invisible? perceptible? unperceptible? uniform? abstract? image = concecution
False movement? static movement? photograph?... cinema? animation? stop motion? = illusion?
illussion or reconstruction of movement?
as a phenomenology the movement have been broked . in the sense of natural perception
after the images can be created.
A photograph, and snap shot.. is real , is moving, is becoming abstract when its showes, if we photocopy it?
we have movement?
artificial? instead or false? false apply?
illusion?
is the reproduction is the correction of the movement? image given.. image created
qualitatively diferent ..
Movement affects initial stages?
Projection - evolution?
movement = intelligible = form of the ideas = ehternal and inmovile
movement : transition from one to the other .
(quinos, telos, acme) moment: culmination? instants? privilaged instants? regulated transitions?
Kepler Galileo Descartes Newton Leibnitz...
Shadows...

To be continued...

Process Enacted by Jordan C Greenhalgh
Uploaded by TheChaseFactory

:: PEACE AND TENDERNESS COVER UP THE PAIN ::

besides my mind hunger, sometimes i feel the bond with all the tought of the world, a sense of fusion with the minds of the world, wich is my heaven.
My drugs and my books... ahhh books set me off. I explode i jump i cahnge my life i cleanup the flabby ideas. desinfect the rotten traditions.
Everything passes, everything continues.
time to excecute the theories
and bring back the passion
exuberant, irresistible, formidable, fantastic, tragic, horrible, sublime...
life is life.. nana nana ra
regina's phenomena
congratulations.

Na?gel
Uploaded by kuh2

:: WATER HOPE COME ON TLALOC ::

This time gone over, ending with tears .. I stood with a sorrow face, feeling frustrated admitting my powerlessness, and whishing someone can prove to me how, what, when...
to deprive him of my faith would be like depriving him for love..
For some months i have pressured him but still wanting to keep him by my side.
I am concern about his greatness...
Before...
This is the one separation i couldnt endure.
this day still the #9
this is the one that i must bear quietly, i would rather be a thousand times deceived phisically, abandoned, beaten, startved, than dissapointment intellectually ...
Grow
how?
- without noise
- without appearing to be moving
- gently without molesting him
- wihout his encouragement
- to do the "do" and achieve quietly

i dont want to seek companionship somewhere else
do i have to take away that hombre possibility to continue...? ! ? !! ??
this has been the most Number # 9 Day.

Come water come!!!
bring me abck to life
feed me
your daughter hua needs you
needs indigo needs cobalto

V_WATER
Uploaded by tudoempaz

:: SEPTEMBER CRISES ::

A m i losing myself? utterly incapable of soing more than what i did each september...
Some of my sharings was a failure horrible stocks and difficulties.

:: PEA SIZED- BRAIN ::

Some admiration that i have or Freud is confirmed by readind "Beyond the pleasure principles" . I got at one bound the idea of our circiutous route to death,, (simone and sartre.. some others.. ) + (life experience) + (Camus) and to pleasure... The rest was arduous.
but this is not a psychology notebook. I must start one .. Notes are raining down... It is curious to observe, however, that all the pain of personal life dwindles in the warmth of purely intellectual reaserch, that tought in itself diminishes the value of personal emotions and re creates harmony.

? - The Spinning Top
Uploaded by blotdotnote

Loving the toughts.. frees my body of its restlessness, of its concentrated desires upon a near object, far persons, Perhaps i have begun my own cure. Or perhaps the fact that values are finding their true measures again means that i am cured.. but what if still not finding their true measures... i am still ill.. * * current sittuation.
I discover i have not told the whole truth to myself, i left out "whatever" things, has been justified in two manners: the things that happenned to me wich i did not realized or face... wich frightened me; and the things that made no sense in my life, wich i could not describe or explain in a properly way.

"Gone Fishing" by Second Person
Uploaded by Gobblynne_Animation

Being at the time, and extreme idealistic, i tucked the strange happennings away quickly, convinced myself they did not belong to me or my real life, and succeded in keeping the misty.................................................Of............these...... i now......... remember a few because now i realized theur meaning.
I have always been in a state of
1.- amorousness
unconsciously since a child, and without sezual counciousness at all untill i was nineteen or so.

:: THE DAY DOLPHINA CRIED ::

:: SANITY IS JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY ::

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE,
YOU MADE ME FEEL SO BLUE,
IT SEEMED YOUR LOVE WAS GONE AND IF YOU TOOK TO LONG,
TO LAY DOWN BY MY SIDE,
SUSPICION STARTED TO GROW,
AND TIME RAN OUT SO SLOW,
CAUSE I KNEW LOVE WOULD GROW,
AND YOU'D BE RIGHT NEXT TO ME,
ASLEEP I STAYED FOR LONG,
FOR LONG I SANG THIS SONG,
ENOUGH I THOUGHT ONE DAY,
ENOUGH I HEARD YOU SAY,
BUT THEN YOU WOULD COME HOME,
AND THEN WE WOULD MAKE LOVE,
HOW CAN A MAN SAY NO..., AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A THUNDER BUT THEN YOU TURNED ME DOWN AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A THUNDER I WONDER, WONDER...,
WHY YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME SOONER FOR THAT GUY?
AND MADE ME FEEL SO LOW,
WHILE YOU WERE HIGH,
I NEVER MENT TO HURT YOU SO MUCH I THOUGHT MY LOVE WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SMILE,
SITTING IN A CAR,
I COULD WATCH YOU GO,
LEAVING WITH SOMEONE,
THAT YOU WILL BLOW,
LAUGHING ALL THE WAY,
I COULD HEAR HIM SAY,
IT FEELS MUCH BETTER IF YOU LICK IT SLOW,
MAYBE IT IS TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE,
YOU THINK ABOUT LEAVING TO ANOTHER STAGE,
BUT THEN YOU REALISED THAT YOU COULDN'T FAKE,
YOU SAID YOU WERE SORRY,
BUT NOW'S TO LATE, AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE,
LIKE A THUNDER,
BUT THEN YOU TURNED ME DOWN AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A THUNDER,
I WONDER, WONDER...,
WHY YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME SOONER FOR THAT GUY?
AND MADE ME FEEL SO LOW WHILE YOU WERE HIGH,
I NEVER MENT TO HURT YOU SO MUCH I THOUGHT MY LOVE WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SMILE FOR ALL YOUR LIFE,
AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A THUNDER BUT THEN YOU TURNED ME DOWN, AND I WONDER...,
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A THUNDER,I WONDER, WONDER...
WHY YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME SOONER FOR THAT GUY?
AND MADE ME FEEL SO LOW WHILE YOU WERE HIGH,
I NEVER TRIED TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME SO THAT I CAN TRUST MY HEART.

:: MA MELODIE ::

Home again, everything seemed changed up int he mountains, in the seas, in the venices, and yet everything has remainded the same, except that i live with more lucidity and more anxiety. I am even to myself , a bad of surprises "Pochette a surprise" . Waht atracts me, tempts me perpetually, in the oportunity to live out a new self. Women see themselves in a morror, in the eyes of the men who love them, i have seen n each man a different woman a different life...

:: HOY ::

I am now twenty six, i am half of what i hope to be
fortunatelly i am alive unfortunately the same.
Dorian, hus painting of me, whith enourmous eyes, dreamy and sad, appearance of fineness and seriousnes, i see myself inocent, his painting of me gives me the impression of intelligence, sad eyes with constantly smiling lips...
This year, greater strengh .. the symphonic concerts of the birds do not get louder, but my cries of exultations and lost acceptance yes... can others endure it?
I am dreaming of next home...
I bought paints, canvas, brushes, i have started to mix, handle colors. At night i have a fever from visions of silver, persian blue, pomegranate, violet, emerald green, lacquer white, burnt sienna, cobalt blue, vermillion.... am i obsess with byzantinium.?
I hae nothing but a desire to be left alone with my work. Friends have never lasted after deaths more than a few months, noone of them have been worth as much as solitude most of the times... Why doi sometimes feel that i cannot live without them, ?? mmm It is true they enrich my mind, fill my mind but solitude is an active, toughtful, ruminating kinds, that keeps me from having to feed always on myself, .... I want everyone to leave me alone with my journal my books, my paintings and my overcrowded ideas.

:: PURITANICALLY ::

there has been so much missunderstanding between mi hombre and I. We tried the other day to arrange our future, Long ago i asked whether it would destroy our marriage if either one of us had a little whim.
The other day i had not succeded in making him understand that life together has kind of perfection over and above us. tolerance, time to test.
the intellectual tolerance, reasonableness, but also a great fund of emotionalism
as a greater effort to preserve our love.
but ohhh no...
some revelations... mi hombre seemed to be absolutely futile and unnecessarily cruel.

:: ASSURANCE AND AFFIRMATION ::

I n a sudden mood of confidence i read myself many pages of my journal. In short, i do not coney the moods succesfully outside of it as i do it inside it. Reading for personal reasons, pleasing me deeply, I explained the blessed inocence which i live in because of my lack of knowledge and experiences in this world. i am forced to do my own seeking, in "my always"

:: IN QUEST OF A NEW LIFE ::

A year since this stop, time to update...
My friend now is Regina, I have at last grown up a full appreciation of her. In was in this place, in this water, that she blossomed and she was revealed to me. i realized the riches in her.

Yesterday we read Rimbaud together, or, she read Rimbaud to me, How far her mind goes, how quickly, how promptly. I who talk little ussually, talk by the hour to her, about everything.
And she told me about the man she had loved, who died in the war, about her worship of being a mother, her feeling of having fully lived. Living for her is an art and a creation, Translations of different languages is a creation, She has a gift of naturalness that i have never seen in anyone else.. she is the same for everybody. Nothing intimidates her Ease, independence, enthusiasm and unusual gifr for languages, a sane health with scared life, healthy physique with squizofrenia, and untter absence of materialism, a flexibility whtin a very definable personality.
From me to myself...