Some admiration that i have or Freud is confirmed by readind "Beyond the pleasure principles" . I got at one bound the idea of our circiutous route to death,, (simone and sartre.. some others.. ) + (life experience) + (Camus) and to pleasure... The rest was arduous.
but this is not a psychology notebook. I must start one .. Notes are raining down... It is curious to observe, however, that all the pain of personal life dwindles in the warmth of purely intellectual reaserch, that tought in itself diminishes the value of personal emotions and re creates harmony.
Loving the toughts.. frees my body of its restlessness, of its concentrated desires upon a near object, far persons, Perhaps i have begun my own cure. Or perhaps the fact that values are finding their true measures again means that i am cured.. but what if still not finding their true measures... i am still ill.. * * current sittuation.
I discover i have not told the whole truth to myself, i left out "whatever" things, has been justified in two manners: the things that happenned to me wich i did not realized or face... wich frightened me; and the things that made no sense in my life, wich i could not describe or explain in a properly way.
Being at the time, and extreme idealistic, i tucked the strange happennings away quickly, convinced myself they did not belong to me or my real life, and succeded in keeping the misty.................................................Of............these...... i now......... remember a few because now i realized theur meaning.
I have always been in a state of
1.- amorousness
unconsciously since a child, and without sezual counciousness at all untill i was nineteen or so.
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