:: KEEP ::

I keep my eyes and ears open as usual but find nothing to satisfy my everhungry mind. I am tired of the familly, even i force myself try to think i love them. None of out tastes are alike, and i am a strange creature that was self raced, our ideas the same, are not something that we can share or even understand because as always i have to be the listener because for me if i cannot talk its ok, my toughts can be used agains them, without knowing, but i have to listen because the uncivilized way to have a conversation have to be from their side, its more unrational than the animal that i can be. The one world that does not exist for me its the most important in their lifes: boredom. Charaloal pills.
When i am with them i feel tired empty and sad... Occasionally i get visual pleasure from "mi hombre" tinged with desire. But i want too many things, and i am perpetually upset by the things that i want and i cannot own, receive or have,